Seasons Change, Briskly

In my life recently I have noticed one thing. And for me to write it down takes my breath away. Because this one word has scared me for a while. I dread it happening. My world is rocked when it happens. I cannot handle it. And it takes me months to develop a sense of understanding and to become ok with it.

Change

I know. I know. That took you all by surprise. 

I hate change.

HATE

I love getting into a routine and not having to think about what is going to happen next. I enjoy the same faces and the normal people in my life. I hold on to the relationships that are present tightly, and when something comes to mess that up I often am emotionally rocked. Things like:

Moving

Death

Changing Jobs

Changing Classes

It makes me crazy. UGH

And this is something that I have prayed about, worked on, looked for advice on, read books, read on ways to help, etc. I have made a valiant effort to become at least ok with the thought of change. I have done much better. Because this year should have its title changed from 2014 to YearofChange.

I have had job changes.

I have had friendship changes.

I have had family changes.

Apartment changes.

Pet changes.

The list goes on.

And this past week I did something I have never done.

I made a change.

Let's take a moment of silence....

I have been praying hard about a situation in my life that I knew I had to change. I have had this pull for a long time and I knew that it was the Holy Spirit. I tried to put it aside and keep on with my routine. I prayed that the feeling would stop. But two weeks ago it is almost like He slapped me in the face and told me it was time. I talked to a few people which I hold dear to my heart. I explained my feelings and the reason for said change to the ones I love the most. I was assured. I was understood. I was prayed for. 

And I was at peace.

I was ok.

I didnt start any gossip. I didnt go around and rage about it. I didnt cause a stink. I just silently went about what I thought was best. 

As my PRO got on the stage and sang I instantly knew that I was gonna tear up, but the song was so perfect.

And then...it hit me...but it was not a sad cry..it was a "im gonna be okay and this was for the best" cry.

"This is my prayer in the desert.

When all that's within me feels dry.

This is my prayer in my hunger and need,

My God is the God who provides.

I will bring praise,

I will bring praise.

No weapon formed against me shall remain.

I will rejoice,

I will declare,

God is my victory and He is here.

All of my life,

in every season

you are still God.

I have a reason to sing.

I have a reason to worship."

Because this hit me in a new way. One that made so much sense.

Season change

And it's ok.

Because in whatever season God throws my way, I still have a reason to sing and to worship.