Remembrance

Whenever people look back into their lives they are doing this thing called remembering. The act of reflecting on something that has previously happened whether it be an adventure like slaying dragons and conquering new lands, or throwing a party for a close friend. Regardless of what you remember, it amazes me how you have so much emotions connected to something that can only be seen if you sit back and close your eyes for a split second.

A split second.

That's how long it takes to remember possibly a pretty lengthy event

But sometimes remembering something or someone is not a pleasant experience for people,...me. Yesterday marked fours years that I said goodbye to a close friend of mine and in a few days another. This is a very hard week for me. Two of my biggest role models, two of my best friends, and two of the strongest Christians I have every known met Jesus this week (in different years of course) withing a weeks time-span. 

And then I begin to remember.

The words of encouragement. The perfect hugs. The long talks about life and what it meant to make mine special and meaningful. The day they became ill. The buckets of tears cried. The last conversation. The last goodbye said. The last hug that I never wanted to end. And last but not least, the memorial services to honor their lives and how they have made an impact on so many people.

And then of course I cry because that is what I do. And I get sad. And wonder why they had to leave me so early. Why I cant have just one more phone call, conversation, smile, or hug.

But its going to be ok. I think I can cry about it at least once a year right?

Because I also remember a promise.

" Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. 3 If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also." John 14:1-3 (NASB)

Perfect. And then another promise...

"..and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away." Revelation 21:4

I know that I will see my friends again someday. And currently it hurts, but I cannot wait to see Jesus face to face, have him wipe every tear away, every pain I have experienced, and be reunited with my loved ones again.

So what to do while I am here? Well...I think it is to create more memories. So that when people remember me they smile and not furrow their eye brows. To smile more and the stranger passing by. To laugh more even if the joke told was not funny. To befriend more even if the person may be weird. To share the love that I experienced through my friends that have gone to meet Jesus, who is the one who shared love with them. To make a difference and not be a stagnant person in society.

"He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane I am a tree. Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.."

"Turn, your ear, to Heaven, and hear, the noise inside..."

I want to be remembered.