Through A Child's Mouth

It is Tuesday night.

Really?

I was really hoping that my phone would say Wednesday or even Thursday.

But I wouldnt trade some of these memories for anything.

Two children that are here have left an impression on my heart that I am grateful for and humbled by.

The first is a little boy that I just met this week. Being the meds giver this summer I see him quite frequently. He takes a lot of medicine. A LOT. I am not even sure how one person with the tiny body frame that he has can process all of those pills. I struggle with the occasional tums much less these horse pills. He does not say much, or anything for that matter. When everyone is marching to the beat of the "normal" drum his is playing a little off in the background. Different is what a lot of people have labeled him as. After talking with him I would like to say that a little bit of love can go a long way. See, with this guy a group announcement of instructions and expectations of remembering a full day is out of the question. With 115 campers I can understand it can get frustrating. I take my meals and nights when I could be in my room to make sure that he is making it and that noone is giving him a hard time. 

Yesterday was the first day that we got mail for the campers and passed it out. I looked over from my table and saw his face slowly sink when his name was not called. While the rest of the campers were being dismissed I intentionally kept him a little extra in giving him his third dose for the day so I could make sure he was ok. I said, "hey buddy, why do you look so sad?"

His response, "my mom said she would send me a letter on Monday. Today is Monday and my name did not get called." The tears were forming. You see, with kids of his kind you cannot promise something and not follow through. You also cannot alter the schedule without proper explanation or the meltdown is soon to come. I sat down in my chair and looked him in the face very calmly and asked him did he need a hug. His shy "yes" and slowly raising arms to welcome a little affection is all he needed. We stood up and I hugged him for a solid five minutes. 

When he let go and stopped crying he looked at me and said, "I think I can make it until Tuesday. Thanks."

Heart. Is. Melted. All he needed was a little extra love. A little extra something that the other children do not need. Time and Compassion.

So now that I know he just wants/needs a little extra, I have been following him around periodically to make sure he is doing ok. When I catch him around, that smile makes it all worth it. That welcoming "pepsi and kit-kat" reassures me that if I do not impact anyone this summer except him, that I did something spectacular. 

Because he is spectacular. With all of his quirks and needs, he is wonderfully and beautifully made. Put into this world with a purpose and without regret. Because he is beautiful. 

We will call him my "Extra Friend"

Now onto the second. This one hurts. My everything.

It was brought to my attention that someone needed me to talk to them. One kid that I have known for years. We dont talk that much. A simple hello is normally all that we get to exchange. I sense the respect he has for me and I appreciate it. A talk is the least that I could give him. 

He lost someone very special to him. Someone that was his world. His idol. His dad. My heart breaks continuously for him everytime I see him in the dorm or in the lunch line because I know behind that smile and those excited eyes is a little bit of hurt. A little bit of pain. A little bit of anger. And a little bit of questions that cannot be answered like....why?

I saw him lying on the bench instead of going to class, I rode on my white stallion...or busted up used green golf cart that clunked all the way there. I told him to get on. He reluctantly agreed and we rode around for a little bit. I pulled behind the camp managers house where we sat next to the river. I could feel it. All of the little bits of this and that just hit me like a lightening bolt with the deep sigh that came out of his mouth. This is how our conversation went.

Me: "you ok?"

Him: "ya..."

Me: "you sure?"

Him: "No"

Me: "what are you thinking"

His response that will be forever with me:

"that I know that she sent u to talk to me. but. Its ok. I want to talk to you. Because it is nice that someone else besides her wants to talk. I appreciate her trying to help but sometimes I just dont want to say anything. I just want to think. And im just angry. And upset. And I dont understand why. But God does and I will be ok. I just have to take it one day at a time."

Wow. He asked to sit and just be still, and we did. We both sat there and watched the waves in the river. We felt the breeze and the warming sunshine. But what I felt, other than the tears on my face and the agonizing choking feeling in my throat (the kind when the good cry is coming), was peace. With all that has happened to him in the past few months, with all the noise of camp, with all the children always wanting to be all up in your/his face, he just needed peace. I needed peace. And it took a 10ish year old to show me that. 

So we sat for about twenty minutes until he said he thought we could go to class.

We will call him "Hurting but Healing Friend"

And for a second I could sense the Holy Spirit telling me that I was in the right place. That I was doing the right things. And that He was with me. And with my little friend. That everything was going to be okay in my life and that all the things that I do wrong that I am letting go of and the good things that I am re-learning how to do daily was happening. That I was changing. 

And for him, He was with him as well. 

Amen.

My heart is full. And it is only foward from here from now on.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  John 16.33